We can experience an event once or we can play it repeatedly in our minds, hundreds even thousands of times until it becomes stuck – until it becomes our identities. We begin to believe these stories created in our minds but how do we learn to let them go?
I like to use an acronym called N.E.S.T. to help let go of the stories that no longer serve me. I invite you to try some of these techniques for yourself.
N – Notice the stories you are creating
E – Experience the sensations in your body
S – Scratch the record
T – Tender Love & Care (TLC)
N – Notice the stories you are creating around the events of your life. We have over 60,000 thoughts a day, over 95% are the same ones we had yesterday and the day before. And 80% of them are quite negative. As humans, we are hardwired to notice and retain the negative aspects of a situation. Thousands of years ago, when we were cavemen and cavewomen, we had to hunt and gather for our food. Noticing what could potentially harm us was critical for our survival. However, we no longer live in that reality. We need to retrain our minds. Today, many of us live on autopilot. We need to become aware of our negative thoughts and flick them off before they take root. We need to replace our negative thoughts with more empowering thoughts that can serve us.
Emmet Fox wrote The Seven Day Mental Diet in the 1930s. He said not having a negative thought for seven days would be one of the most difficult things that you do. But once achieved, your life would be totally transformed.
We know from the law of attraction that whatever we focus on expands or grows stronger. So begin to notice your thoughts and replace them with more empowering beliefs. Beliefs that will serve you.
E – Experience events as sensations in our bodies. When painful and traumatic events occur in our lives, we automatically begin to create a story around the event – it was good or bad, happy or sad. Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor wrote My Stroke of Insight. In her book she states that it only takes 90 seconds to process an event, through our bodies as sensations, and then let them go. After those 90 seconds are up, it is up to us. We can hang onto those sensations and begin to label them or we can choose to let them go. You can process events more easily and quickly by experiencing them first in your body. Next time an unwanted event occurs, notice where you feel it in your body – is it a tightness in your chest, dryness in your throat or fluttering in your stomach? Imagine yourself breathing gently and lovingly into the sensation and you may begin to feel it soften – then let it gently go.
S – Scratch the record. It is easy for us to replay the same stories repeatedly in our minds. The following techniques can help you disrupt the thought patterns that no longer serve you.
You can say cancel cancel or cancel clear to disrupt the negative thought. Some people use a rubber band to gently sting themselves when they have a negative thought. I believe this works because it disrupts the pattern and helps you get back into your body. The other technique I call zany cray thing; I learned it from Tony Robbins many years ago. If there is a negative pattern that you do habitually, plan in advance something that you will do to disrupt that story or pattern. The next time you argue with a partner, grab their nose. Or if you reach for that chocolate cake that you think will make you feel better, hop on one foot for a minute. Have fun – make it zany and crazy.
T – T stands for Tender Love & Care (TLC). The loneliness that many people feel today is not the isolation from each other but because they have become disconnected from the Creator or the God of their understanding. They’ve also become disconnected from the essence of who they truly are. We are divine beings of light. Many people have abandoned themselves, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Whenever you spend time connecting or nurturing yourself, you rediscover the essence of who you truly are which is love itself. Loving and taking care of yourself more deeply is not arrogant or selfish – when you love and accept yourself more deeply, you have more love to give to others.
Make N.E.S.T a part of your life and notice how things begin to change.
Copyright © Judi Miller 2020